You wanted me to tell you, here it is.

You know those 3 ams when you want to go and knock on her door so loudly she'll wake up and listen to each and every of your tears without asking what's wrong?


I am having a similar moment.


I feel like waking her up and crying.


Do you know those messages they actually get wrong?
Well, everyone is getting my message the wrong way,
Either they overlook it,
Or they misunderstand it,


YES! I am having A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TIME.
I hate my life so much these days,
All I do is wake up, go to classes, speak to NOBODY in particular, come back straight home, REVISING, have people misunderstanding me each and every minute,
Do you even know how it feels to HAVE NO ACTUAL - not a friend really, just someone to talk to?
Do you even know what it is to go to  classes and be like a NOBODY there?
Being ignored by almost everyone?
Do you even know how difficult it is to HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS during your college life?


THIS IS ALL ME.


Why?
No, I am NOT anti-social,
My friends left college after the first year,
And we were so good at ignoring the rest of the class,
I was left on my own when they left.
What am I supposed to do?
Be a hypocrite and talk to the people I used to laugh at?


What I do is I JUST STFU and suck it up,
Because even if I wanted no one would want to be my friend, really.
And this is like the worse shit ever.
Going to class and having no one to save you a place,
Going to class and talking to yourself-literally- because no one give a damn about what you think or how funny a thought you just had.
Going to class just to attend lectures which make no sense anymore.


And I don't need you to tell me,
"It's going to be okay",
BECAUSE IT WON'T :)
Neither do I need you to tell me,
"You think I AM happy",
Because YOU ACTUALLY ARE.


This is just too much people,
I am tired of dealing with every little misunderstandings,
You out of every single person alive should have understood,
But you can't,
And I don't reproach you,
The least you can do is NOT ADDING to my miseries,
I am a tired and lost soul,
I went through too much,


You can't imagine.




Good Night,
Maybe this blogpost will make sense and yes this blogpost is aimed at you and you too.
Don't come and ask me the meaning of it,
I just told you what was wrong.


xoxo