The Fixer (:

The fixer.

We all have that friend, who is a fixer and who wants to fix everything and everyone. In my case, they are all the fixer, every one wants to fix me, which is great and which makes me feel loved but you can't always fix a person, you can help them, you can do it over and over again but you can not fix them, this is something they have to do on their own. They have to fix themselves, they have to work on it themselves. And in my case, I gave up on myself a long time ago, I just thought there is no way I will ever be fixed. Then, my fixer came along and started trying these new ideas on me everyday, which sometimes work, and most of the time when it is not, it makes my fixer very very very angry. Well, here is what I have to say to all fixers, you are amazing, you are doing the best job ever, but you can't always fix it, you have to just let the person deal with it at one point. You have done so much, and i know you said you won't stop trying, but don't worry about me. I will fix myself when I am ready, it might take years but I will. I have done it before, it was not as bad as it is now, but I did it and I will do it. Trust me? Alright, shut up fixer, I know you don't trust me, I mean oome on, you hacked my account. But I love you and I feel like I am so much trouble to you, so trust me, I will fix myself. I WILL, and I CAN.

Also, here's a tip: CLOSURE is essential in life. Not all the time, but it is essential. According to a fixer, closure gives you inner peace and help you attain self actualisation, it makes you feel better about yourself, it makes you feel a class above, and it also gives you the opportunity to quote Rachel, "And that my friend, is what they call CLOSURE."

If you are fixer, you must be one hell of a person [OMG, pls one of a hell of a, quote of the year], and if you are the person being fixed then dude, let's meet we need to open up a support group, this thing is getting out of hand!

Seriously, it is amazing to have someone out there who is willing to give everything to fix you, someone who wishes they could get inside your mind and remove certain things just so you become a better person, just so you become a happy person, just so you become bitter-less.

Also,May is almost over, would you believe it, happy nearly-june :) Song of the day : My fixer's favourite which is still stuck in my head, Kya hua tera wada.

And, that's about it,

Ice-Cream everybody!

xo

ZOuBanana!

There is always a reason!

There is so much to life, and there is so much we are still unaware of,

The reasons behind somebody's silent, the reason behind somebody's submission, the reason behind somebody's tolerance.

We assume we know things, we think we can analyse things and conclude the story behind an action, but we can't. We do not hold that power and we can not choose to think we know someone when we haven't lived their life. It does not matter how much you know about a person, sometimes it's just not enough to understand that person, sometimes it is necessary to be in that person's shoes to understand what they went through.

Similarly, there is no one who can understand you better than yourself. You've been through it, the good and the bad and whatever you do, however you handle things, they are your choices, and you made them for a reason because you can and you have to. No one can decide for you or suggest to change your decisions. You made them because you believe in them and if these decisions fail you, well, that's your problem.

And, this post is the result of analysing somebody over Skype for the past 1 and 1/2 hour. We shall not judge and just expect that behind every decision somebody who cares about us take, is a solid reason!

GoodNightWorld!

Happy May!

The sun is so rare here, it makes me feel like home.

I need to start writing my dissertation and all i can think about is the philosophy of life, the questions that haunt us,

Happy Monday by the way,

I have no idea why people hate Mondays, I guess I stopped having Sunday Night Blues when I fell in love with school and started hating my parents [Adolescence],

And, as the days went by,  I just started hating staying at home not doing anything, so for me Sunday Night Blues would be if I have to stay at home the next day doing nothing.

Maybe I will start loving this again, once I have to go to a job that is going to crush my soul, but this won't happen really,

Sunday Night Blues, I guess, are for people who hate their jobs, people who had no dreams, people who just had to find a job and had to wake up every day to go do a job that they hate, or students who hate school because it is painful and they are bullied and what not. All this just make me want to have tea; it's too depressing. But then again, if they are not bullied, how am I going to get a job? TEA.

43 days left on the countdown.

When you want something, you get it?
I'll say when you are wishing for the right things, you are definitely going to have it!

Well, this was a random post,

Happy May by the way,

Banana x

I Refuse To Give Up.

I have this crazy idea. It is quite crazy and surreal, but I have this idea that one day, I will meet this person who will understand me like no one else and who will love me for who I am and not in spite of who I am. I have this idea that my life will be grand, and it will be like I have always dreamt it would be. I can not figure out when I started believing in this dream or when I came up with it, but it is here and laugh if you want, but I know it will happen one day.

The people around me feel I need a reality check, and I need to wake up from this fairy tale life. The people around me want me to believe in this boring routine-type of life that they intend to have. Well, I pity them. It is not given to every one to have wild dreams and to believe in them. It is not given to everyone to believe that one day even their most surreal dreams will come true.

Ask the dead poets, the romantic novelists, the dreamers; they will all agree that in this boring and typical life we lead, there is nothing more beautiful than having colourful dreams and having wishes that you can believe in, even in the darkest of hours. Why should we settle for a mediocre life when we can dream majestic?

There is no doubt that at one point, in your life, you will feel the boredom and the routine, but the dreams you nurture deep down are going to give you hope and make you extraordinary in this very ordinary life. No, not expectations, dreams. No, not dreams, hopes. Hopes that there will be something better after this, hopes that the things you wish for will be heard somehow by the unseen and will be fulfilled when you least expect it, hopes that you will make a difference and someone else will love you for it.

Gus said, "the world is not a wish granting factory," but it is, the world is a wish granting factory, did he not live his infinite love story with Hazel Grace? Did he not let her love for him hurt her and vice versa? Did he not say he liked the choices he made?

I believe for people who are healthy and have a roof over their head and are not in any kind of pain, that the world is indeed a wish granting factory, because they have the power to make their dreams come true and most importantly, they have the power to still hope because death is not impending.

So, laugh if you want, but I choose to believe in my dreams and in infinite hopes of those dreams coming true and I like my choices. I like that if I get hurt it would be for the right reasons, for the reasons I chose. Because as he put it so poetically, "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who [or what] hurts you. I like my choices."

x

Saying GoodBye Is Not Always A Choice.

Why is saying Good Bye always so hard?
Do we not trust ourselves?
Do we not trust the bond we share with the person we are saying good bye to?
Why should we say Good Bye so often, at every juncture of life?
Why can't it be See You Later,
Why can't it be We'll Meet Again And Nothing Will Change?

Why is it so painful to part ways with people you've spent so little time with?
Why does it hurt to leave behind moments that meant nothing?

After you've asked yourselves these silly questions, you realise that every single moment you spend with a person,
Be it a meaningless moment,
Or any important one,
Once you leave that person behind and move on in life,
Once you have to part ways with that person,
Once you have to turn the pages in the book of your life,
Every single one of those moments spent together will be missed, will be cherished, will be mourned,
Because this is the reality of Life,

Every time you say goodbye, you lose a bit of yourself,
A bit of yourself that became anchored into the person you are leaving behind,
Every time you move on in life, you lose a part of your story,
Pages from the book of your life is torn, every time you say goodbye,

Sometimes, you take ages to get over people,
Sometimes, you get over pretty quickly,
And sometimes you never do,
You carry memories of those people with you everywhere you go,
You carry those memories in your heart in the hope that one day you will live those moments again,
And perhaps, if you are lucky, you will,
And if you are not, you lose a part of yourself,

Also, ted's line fits in here, so here goes:

"And that's how it goes kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.
You will be shocked kids when you’ll discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it." -Ted Mosby

xoxo
ZOu