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London

I freaking love London,

It's probably because I am not from here and I come from a place that is so different. People from here think I am crazy because I am so in love with this city. Maybe I am,

All my life I've dreamt of being here, and actually being here made me love the place even more. I love everything about London, the ugly weather, the cold, the crowd, the rush, the trains, the busy places, the shopping [heaven really], the river, the Victorian buildings, the landmarks, the people,

Everything that London has to offer is heaven for me, and all I want to do is spend my life here. There is no where else in the world I would rather be. London is kind of "Home" now, because this where my heart lies,

Also, [this is out of context] but WTF GERRARD. And Suarez needs to die-he's fugly.

I am too stressed to keep writing-football is just stressing!
Happy World Cup!

Idontf*ckingcare-ILoveEnglandandRooney! #ComeonEngland!

Banana xo

Get Sad Night!

It's get sad night.
Because this is actually a thing, YES!

Sad playlists, sad philosophical thoughts, sad faces, well, just everything that makes you sad, because as it's been put so perfectly, "it's good to be sad every now and then!"

It's almost like a virtual slumber party, except it's not a slumber party, it's just two people skype-ing as usual and being sad just because "tragedy is the new cool!"
Also, we should probably get our get psyched mix, because being sad is just tiring!
What's the purpose of pondering on things that make you sad when there is not exactly a lot you can do to change it [in our cases], when you feel the need to have a get sad night, just remember being sad takes too much energy, invest it in something better, i don't know like, planning the cray cray tour or all the cray cray stuff that will happen during that tour, because what happens in Europe, stays in Europe :3

Be happy, be so happy that everything else does not matter,
Be happy because sometimes that's all that really make sense,
Be happy because no one deserves to have their heart broken, except for some bitches here and there :3

I read this somewhere, it goes a bit like this: When you are sad about your life, remember there is someone who's thankful for your existence.
Shit like that!

xoxo
Banana!

Denial Dissertation

Dear all,

The solution to writing a good research paper is never found in binge-watching-himym! Never! But, that's a good start, you can always do your best when the deadline is near. Don't worry, every one procrastinate-even Harry [Not hermione, no she never does that, but let's face it no one is an insufferable know it all :)], so go ahead, have fun waking up late and binge watching tv shows you already watched, you never watched or you just want to watch because when you have to pen down a dissertation, everything else seems more interesting, hell yeah! Losing weight suddenly becomes your top priority, playing matchmaker becomes so much more interesting, being heartbroken by celebrities become much more intense, because fuck writing your dissertation, that's why!

Also, writing a dissertation when you are pms-ing is not a good idea, instead of writing about figurative languages, you might end up literally killing people, so yeah, chill! Don't worry about the dissertation, you have plenty of times and you are going to make it in time.

See you more later,

Banana

Who Knew Chaos Was So Important!

Happy June!

I haven't been posting for a long time, probably because I got fixed. Apparently, when an artist or a writer is not feeling the pain anymore, they can not deliver in a poetic and artistic way anymore. I guess it's true, when there is no pain, you have nothing much to write about or to tell about. And when there is no happiness either, you can't brag much. What is it then, that exits beyond these two, what feeling is it? I don't know much about it, but peace seems to be the right answer. When there is no chaos in your life, be it a grieving one or a happy one, there is nothing to convey. the lack of chaos in your life will bring you peace, but a pale one. A peace that gives you inner calmness but does not exactly makes you bounce out of joy.

Peace makes you more relaxed, but it does not make you smile any more. But then again, happiness is a mood, so you are probably in the wrong mood, you just need to get into a chaotic happiness and everything will fall into place again!

Since, my chaotic side has been put to sleep, I sincerely do not have much to write about, so I'll just post a page from my diary:

"Rain and Tum Ho [Rockstar] is quite a lethal combination, /Been ages since I wrote down on paper and it feels amazing, /Do you think when you finally let everything burning inside of you go, there is a feeling of extreme loneliness tha starts crawling in again?/ A feeling that is just as bad as a heartbreak but also just as good as realising being lonely is not always a bad thing?/ When we finally give ourselves the permission to feel again, does it bring back all the pain?/ Or does it just feel numb and cold?/ Or have you not felt in so long that you don't know how it works anymore?/ Because feeling is just too hard at some points, and you just give up on it? Or do you just take a step back?

Well, I have no idea,/ When you put it into words it sounds easy, but when you have to live it, it's just a whole different universe./ I don't know how people really feel when they say 'I let it go, it feels so much better now,'/ The only 'it feels so much better now' moment for me is when I am lying somewhere I love with my favourite songs on, and my favourite food next to me and I am enjoying the cool breeze.."

It just ends here, I guess peace makes things so messed up you can't even finish a proper post. Anyways, have an amazing June, looking forward to re connecting with my chaotic self,

xoxo

Banana

The Fixer (:

The fixer.

We all have that friend, who is a fixer and who wants to fix everything and everyone. In my case, they are all the fixer, every one wants to fix me, which is great and which makes me feel loved but you can't always fix a person, you can help them, you can do it over and over again but you can not fix them, this is something they have to do on their own. They have to fix themselves, they have to work on it themselves. And in my case, I gave up on myself a long time ago, I just thought there is no way I will ever be fixed. Then, my fixer came along and started trying these new ideas on me everyday, which sometimes work, and most of the time when it is not, it makes my fixer very very very angry. Well, here is what I have to say to all fixers, you are amazing, you are doing the best job ever, but you can't always fix it, you have to just let the person deal with it at one point. You have done so much, and i know you said you won't stop trying, but don't worry about me. I will fix myself when I am ready, it might take years but I will. I have done it before, it was not as bad as it is now, but I did it and I will do it. Trust me? Alright, shut up fixer, I know you don't trust me, I mean oome on, you hacked my account. But I love you and I feel like I am so much trouble to you, so trust me, I will fix myself. I WILL, and I CAN.

Also, here's a tip: CLOSURE is essential in life. Not all the time, but it is essential. According to a fixer, closure gives you inner peace and help you attain self actualisation, it makes you feel better about yourself, it makes you feel a class above, and it also gives you the opportunity to quote Rachel, "And that my friend, is what they call CLOSURE."

If you are fixer, you must be one hell of a person [OMG, pls one of a hell of a, quote of the year], and if you are the person being fixed then dude, let's meet we need to open up a support group, this thing is getting out of hand!

Seriously, it is amazing to have someone out there who is willing to give everything to fix you, someone who wishes they could get inside your mind and remove certain things just so you become a better person, just so you become a happy person, just so you become bitter-less.

Also,May is almost over, would you believe it, happy nearly-june :) Song of the day : My fixer's favourite which is still stuck in my head, Kya hua tera wada.

And, that's about it,

Ice-Cream everybody!

xo

ZOuBanana!

There is always a reason!

There is so much to life, and there is so much we are still unaware of,

The reasons behind somebody's silent, the reason behind somebody's submission, the reason behind somebody's tolerance.

We assume we know things, we think we can analyse things and conclude the story behind an action, but we can't. We do not hold that power and we can not choose to think we know someone when we haven't lived their life. It does not matter how much you know about a person, sometimes it's just not enough to understand that person, sometimes it is necessary to be in that person's shoes to understand what they went through.

Similarly, there is no one who can understand you better than yourself. You've been through it, the good and the bad and whatever you do, however you handle things, they are your choices, and you made them for a reason because you can and you have to. No one can decide for you or suggest to change your decisions. You made them because you believe in them and if these decisions fail you, well, that's your problem.

And, this post is the result of analysing somebody over Skype for the past 1 and 1/2 hour. We shall not judge and just expect that behind every decision somebody who cares about us take, is a solid reason!

GoodNightWorld!

Happy May!

The sun is so rare here, it makes me feel like home.

I need to start writing my dissertation and all i can think about is the philosophy of life, the questions that haunt us,

Happy Monday by the way,

I have no idea why people hate Mondays, I guess I stopped having Sunday Night Blues when I fell in love with school and started hating my parents [Adolescence],

And, as the days went by,  I just started hating staying at home not doing anything, so for me Sunday Night Blues would be if I have to stay at home the next day doing nothing.

Maybe I will start loving this again, once I have to go to a job that is going to crush my soul, but this won't happen really,

Sunday Night Blues, I guess, are for people who hate their jobs, people who had no dreams, people who just had to find a job and had to wake up every day to go do a job that they hate, or students who hate school because it is painful and they are bullied and what not. All this just make me want to have tea; it's too depressing. But then again, if they are not bullied, how am I going to get a job? TEA.

43 days left on the countdown.

When you want something, you get it?
I'll say when you are wishing for the right things, you are definitely going to have it!

Well, this was a random post,

Happy May by the way,

Banana x